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The Many Flavors of Oats

[Written ; updated ]

It turns out, oats are a pretty neutral flavor, and can take on a variety of seasonings.  Besides the popular flavors of sugar, or fruit and cream, they can also be quite good when savory.

Contents

Base Recipe

Bring to a boil.  Unless directed otherwise, add flavorings.  Simmer for 1-2 minutes.  Remove from heat.  Oatmeal will thicken somewhat as it cools to a proper temperature for eating.

(Without flavoring, it tastes most like “toasted oat cereal,” which is logical, I guess.)

The flavoring amounts quoted are intended to give a moderate amount of flavor.  It should fall between subtle and overwhelming.  That said, anything and everything can be adjusted to taste; the final power lies with you.

Sapphire Cat’s Favorite Thick Oatmeal

I’ve found three ways to put this together, more or less.  The final result isn’t identical for each method, but they aren’t radically different.

Wood Stove (best)

  1. Combine water, oats, and salt in a stovetop-safe pot
  2. Place on a 300–400°F wood stove
  3. Wait until liquid is mostly absorbed, about 15 min.
  4. Add flavorings and enjoy

(Below 300 takes too long; above 400, it will stick on the bottom before the water is absorbed.)

Long Soak (original)

  1. Make oatmeal, per the chosen recipe
  2. Allow to cool
  3. Refrigerate 8 hours or overnight
  4. Reheat and enjoy

Slow Microwave

  1. Combine water, oats, and salt
  2. Microwave at power 4 (35–40%) for 9 minutes
  3. Add flavorings and enjoy

Be sure to use a big enough bowl that it doesn't boil over.

Honestly, as a kid, I hated the texture of oatmeal.  It took me going on hunger strike to get the message across that I was serious about not liking them.  As an adult, I finally discovered the Long Soak recipe above, which makes a truly thick oatmeal, and fixes the texture problem.

The Long Soak differs from “overnight oats” recipes, because it cooks the oats first.  Overnight oats, by comparison, don’t absorb enough liquid to reach the difficult texture.  But I don't always want “cinnamon-raisin oats in milk.”

Savory Flavors

Garlic and Onion
Add 3/16 tsp of garlic powder, and ¼ tsp onion powder.
Garlic, Onion, and Celery Seed
Use ¼ tsp garlic powder and ⅜ tsp onion powder.  Add one pinch of celery seed.
Sausage
About 1/16 tsp salt, ¼ tsp rubbed sage, and a pinch of marjoram.  Adding ½ teaspoon of bacon grease, if available, will really round this out.
Taco (Tacoats)
Use a pat of butter (about 1 tsp), and ¼ tsp taco seasoning blend, to taste. Note that the strength of taco seasonings may vary; I tested this recipe with some from a bulk store, and we used to make our own before that.
Peanut Butter
After removing from heat, (cooked peanut butter does not taste good here,) stir in 3 tablespoons of peanut butter.  Optionally, add 1 tsp honey or some brown sugar.
Macaroni and Cheese (Maca-roats)
After removing from heat, stir in 1 tsp butter, 1½ oz extra sharp cheddar, and ½ oz of a melting cheese, like Monterey Jack, Colby, or mozzarella. Optional: add ⅛ tsp Worcestershire sauce, 1/16 tsp salt, and a pinch each of garlic and onion powder (to taste.)

Sweet Flavors

I meant to polish these better before posting, but they’ve spent two years in draft form.  I just don’t feel motivated, because so many oatmeal flavors are already sweet, maybe these aren’t necessary.  Therefore, I am presenting them as-is.

Maple Cinnamon Raisin
Add ⅛ cup (2 Tbsp) raisins, 1 Tbsp maple syrup, 1 tsp sugar or equivalent (e.g. stevia), and a generous shake of cinnamon to taste.  Apples make a great substitution for the raisins when they are in season.
Apple Pie
Add apple pieces, sugar, and apple pie spice to taste.  Apple pie filling might also work.
Berry Cream
Add fresh or frozen berries (blueberry or strawberry work great), cream, and sugar.
Chocolate, or Choc-oats
(original recipe) After removing from heat, stir in ½ Tbsp dry milk, ½ Tbsp cocoa powder, ½ to 1 Tbsp sugar (to taste), ¼ tsp cinnamon, a pinch of cardamom (optional), and a splash of heavy cream.  This version brings the milk flavors forward, closer to hot cocoa than a candy bar.

The End

I hope you enjoyed this adventure, and maybe found something new to try!